Raging Right Wing Republican

For those of us who are politically informed, and therefore Republican.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

High gas prices

Many people are worried about high gas prices, so I sent my crack research team to investigate them. Here's what they uncovered:
  • High gas prices were invented by John D. Rockefeller, who one day said to himself, "You know, I could charge a lot more for this."  Others say that business acumen was a big part of his success.
  • Gas prices are largely affected by oil.  Oil production is set by amoral tyrants who scavenge in the desert and wear ornate mumus.  It may seem like a strange system, but no one has yet to suggest a better one.
  • High gas prices hurt poor people the most, which is one of the benefits of it.
  • One way to reduce gas prices would be biofuels which can reduce gas prices by cents a gallon at only the price of starving millions of people to death because of raised crop prices.
  • High gas prices causes more people to ride a bike to work, which could lead to more people wearing bike shorts and thus an increase in false accusations of homosexuality.
  • And accurate accusations.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


Tue May 06, 02:12:00 PM EDT  
Blogger mAc Chaos said...


Tue May 06, 04:49:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do not like the subsidized biofuels much myself but elminating them would only be a partial solution to the current situation with food prices. Notice that many of the food riots involve rice. The US uses corn to create ethanol, so unless we also have a process of turning rice into corn and then turning that into fuel, that is not going to change. We could also eliminate farm subsidies but then the major agribusninesses would label you as elitist and all of the old cliches about punishing "flyover" country would appear in the media. Then people would throw out the canard about not wanting the US to outsource food production.

Tue May 06, 06:50:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Dominique said...

High gas prices hurt poor people the most, which is one of the benefits of it.

Out of all the immoral, nasty things I have heard people say, this is the worst.

Don't you realize that the majority of this world is in poverty? Majority of this country? Why do you think we're no longer a world power? The Bush administration and its recent hasty decisions at war and with revenues. We are in a recession. One day this recession will hit you the hardest and then you will regret ever saying that poor people are a burden.

Sat May 24, 08:46:00 PM EDT  

Post a Comment

<< Home